{Entry One}

[meteorman]

[This is not the first time Ford has found himself a universe away from where he was just a day or so ago, and so all things considered he's taking it in stride. He was certainly smart enough to turn down any sort of employment from a woman calling herself 'Mistress' (I mean, really) and he's not too fazed by the little shack that's afforded him instead of nicer lodgings in the castle. A roof over his head is still a vast step up from most of the universes he's had to crash in. He's even been provided with a handy dandy new journal in which to compile notes on his new locale, and that's exactly what he's decided to do. It's one of his go-to solutions.

Up at the top of the page there is a date, which is crossed out after a few moments of consideration and replaced with words written in neat cursive script:]

Can't start using dates until I have some idea of the local calendar.

I have once again found myself in a world that is very markedly not my own. I wasn't intending to travel any further than the bounds of my own planet ever again but intent means very little in the long run. This would explain quite a lot about the Bermuda Triangle, in retrospect. I wonder why Stanley didn't come through with me?

In terms of similarity to Earth I would rate this new world fairly high. Its technology is clearly more primitive but this can perhaps be explained by the presence of magic, which often renders most 'modern' Earth technology (or equivalent alien technology) pointless.

[There is a very well-rendered sketch of the Mistress off to the left, looking unimpressed as usual.]

THE MISTRESS

The local ruler. She offered me employment and naturally I turned it down in favor of remaining a free agent for the duration of my time here. I would like to think at this point I can spot a raw deal with some degree of accuracy.

[He... he has no idea other people can see this. Either that note wasn't at the start of this book because he arrived long after their dispersal, or he just flat out didn't read it in his haste to start nerding out all over the place. Take your pick.]

Comments

[shieldofrohan]

[In the margins, beside his notes on the Mistress:] Changeable as weather and fell in wrath, yet she holds her word and her pride as far as I have seen, in her way.

You may wish to know, too, that she can see this as clearly as I can. As we all can. Have a care.

[meteorman]

[See, Ford is getting used to the whole 'words appearing out of nowhere' thing now. It's kind of charming, almost. Additions to his notes? A little less welcome, but if they're accurate he can't pitch a fit.]

I will do my level best to remain civil, then. At least I can say with confidence that I've dealt with far worse.

[Now the real question is, is he gonna ask about that name or not.]

[shieldofrohan]

Then may this be a welcome respite. For all its strangeness, it has been so for me.

[meteorman]

I imagine so. From my preliminary observations this place is a little less hectic than Minas Tirith might be.

[It's a joke, you see, because she clearly had Nerd Parents.]

[shieldofrohan]

[She doesn't reply for a moment, just sits and considers what's been written, how she can respond to that.]

I would not know. I am Lady of Rohan, not of Gondor, and have never been to Minas Tirith.

You do not seem from your phrasing a man of Gondor. How is it you know their city?

[meteorman]

[Well okay. Now she's just fucking with him. Is this -- FCLORP? Is that that thing Soos does? But why on Earth would you FCLORP as an Eowyn who hadn't done all the cool shit she was all set up to do.]

No, no, I'm a man of Jersey, but I've done extensive research into Middle Earth.

[Is he FCLORPing wrong? Probably. He's not super into roleplay anyway, he does weird enough shit just when he's himself. If he had to roleplay as anything it'd probably be a man taking a nap.]

[shieldofrohan]

Then you are not from Middle-Earth?

[She's a little upset by that. She had hoped, well...]

Forgive me. I assumed. Few here have shown knowledge of it.

HERE WE GO

[meteorman]

[Oh boy. Oh jeez.]

Wait, wait, wait.

[He doesn't need to write out that many 'wait's but Ford Pines is nothing if not dramatic.]

You're actually from Middle-Earth?

Are you actually Éowyn

[He doesn't even end that sentence with punctuation. Holy shit?]

[shieldofrohan]

Who else should I be? I am not in the habit of deception.

[meteorman]

[ha ha ha ha fuCK

How does he explain this. Shit. Fuck. Oh god.]

No, of course not. I didn't mean to imply anything of the sort. This is just unexpected. I am not from Middle-Earth but you could consider me a scholar of its history. I'm not often in the position of meeting someone I know more about than they do themselves!

[There's that classic Ford Pines brand of assholery, right on schedule. He doesn't mean anything by it, honest, he's just an idiot.]

[shieldofrohan]

[Wow. Wow.]

[She suddenly feels a whole lot less well-disposed towards him.]

You are not the first man to claim such knowledge of me. All others have found to their peril that they know me less well than they thought.

[meteorman]

[What??? How could she dislike him? This is nerd persecution, fake geek girls, etc,,

Of course the actual implication goes right over his head and he just breezes on forward.]

Of course I suppose it is possible that you are from an iteration of your timeline different than the one I've read about, in which case it is entirely possible that the you I know is not the you to whom I am currently speaking.

[shieldofrohan]

Make more sense, or return to your own notes.

[meteorman]

[Is multiversal theory a thing in Middle-Earth? Probably not, huh.]

In theory, there is an infinite number of universes and endless possibility in terms of what they contain. Therefore it isn't out of the question that you are just one of many, many Éowyns. In fact considering you are here instead of in your native world and timeline it is almost certain that you are.

[Make sense: failed step one]

[shieldofrohan]

[You can't see it through the book, of course, but this is a really remarkably flat look she's giving just now.]

You are saying that I am one of many? Not even the true version of myself?

Mind how you phrase yourself, in future.

[meteorman]

It isn't meant as an insult. There are theoretically infinite versions of myself as well; in fact I have had the pleasure to meet a few, though only ever from a distance (you do not want to know what happens when two alternate versions of the same person get too close).

[shieldofrohan]

You make less sense with each word.



What did she do, this version of me whose tale you know?