kingdomtalks | {Entry One}

[This is not the first time Ford has found himself a universe away from where he was just a day or so ago, and so all things considered he's taking it in stride. He was certainly smart enough to turn down any sort of employment from a woman calling herself 'Mistress' (I mean, really) and he's not too fazed by the little shack that's afforded him instead of nicer lodgings in the castle. A roof over his head is still a vast step up from most of the universes he's had to crash in. He's even been provided with a handy dandy new journal in which to compile notes on his new locale, and that's exactly what he's decided to do. It's one of his go-to solutions.

Up at the top of the page there is a date, which is crossed out after a few moments of consideration and replaced with words written in neat cursive script:]

Can't start using dates until I have some idea of the local calendar.

I have once again found myself in a world that is very markedly not my own. I wasn't intending to travel any further than the bounds of my own planet ever again but intent means very little in the long run. This would explain quite a lot about the Bermuda Triangle, in retrospect. ~~I wonder why Stanley didn't come through with me?~~

In terms of similarity to Earth I would rate this new world fairly high. Its technology is clearly more primitive but this can perhaps be explained by the presence of magic, which often renders most 'modern' Earth technology (or equivalent alien technology) pointless.

[There is a very well-rendered sketch of the Mistress off to the left, looking unimpressed as usual.]

THE MISTRESS

The local ruler. She offered me employment and naturally I turned it down in favor of remaining a free agent for the duration of my time here. I would like to think at this point I can spot a raw deal with some degree of accuracy.

[He... he has no idea other people can see this. Either that note wasn't at the start of this book because he arrived long after their dispersal, or he just flat out didn't read it in his haste to start nerding out all over the place. Take your pick.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I've gathered. One of the first things I must do once I get my feet under me properly is purchase a book that isn't enchanted.

And yes, I am. Earth 46'\ specifically. I don't suppose the callsign is familiar to you?

Oh good. Better you learn sooner, before you write something you'd rather not share, or something.

Haha, yes, in fact. Earth, 1977. London, England, specifically.

[Alright, so that's a roundabout no, then, but it does give him important information anyway.]

You know, I am beginning to think there is something about the seventies and eighties that led to an uptick in people wandering out of their native dimensions. I first left my own in the early eighties.

['Left' is a very diplomatic way of putting it, but he's trying this new thing where he doesn't get bitter and grudgey about things, especially things so far in the past.]

[Listen. Listen.]

You know I really would believe it.

I mean, there is actually a magic war going on back home. I can't imagine that's good for the fabric of reality and all that.

the 80's huh? So you have to tell me, I must know: Is muggle radio still fantastic?

Well 'fantastic' is subjective but I would say things were good enough in the early eighties and there is still music worth listening to in 2012, which is the current year in my dimension.

By all accounts the nineties were a dark time devoid of any worthwhile art and I'm not too bothered about having missed them.

The 90s was shaping up to be a dark time in all respects. I can't say I'm surprised.

Disappointed, but not surprised.

Well, you did probably miss out on a lot of good Death Eater arsekicking so that's too bad, really.

[yes, he thinks Ford is a fellow wizard.]

Death Eater?

Is that a band. I'm afraid music is not actually my wheelhouse.

[.... Oh. There goes that illusion.]

No. No it isn't. They're a bunch of wankers who think that the only real wizards are wizards who's cousins fucked each other for generations to keep the pedigrees pure and bullshit like that.

And they consider anyone else subhuman.

[Ah. To a Jewish man born in 1943, that sure does ring some bells. Mm. Boy.]

So they're magical nazis.

[You know what, that rings some bells over here too.]

Yeah, pretty much. The worst, basically. Nothing more satisfying than laying them flat.]

I'm glad to hear that these things ring true across most known universes.

[Wait]

So you're a wizard as well, then?

Known Universals: bleeding assholes and the blokes who like to hit them.

Guilty as charged, good sir.

Would you happen to be from the same world as the other wizard I'm conversing with, or are there two worlds with wizards I need to start researching?

Well it is possible that there is another wizard here that I don't know about. Are you referring to Lupin?

Yes, that's the one I mean. You know him?

Oh yes. He's one of my best mates. We ride or die together, partners in crime.

[Also boyfriends????? Stay tuned.]

[That, too, is familiar. Ford's expression, though of course Sirius can't see it, softens considerably.]

I imagine having him around has made being here less of an ordeal than it might have been otherwise. You should count yourself lucky.

[Because boy, he's had to do it alone, and it sucks. If he were slightly younger he might have scoffed at the idea of a familiar face making all the difference, but now he knows better.]

I can't believe how bloody lucky I am that he's here too. It's so fantastic, even if it was hard for the poor bloke at first.

[And even if it's complicated now... it's extra fantastic also. Amazing what an overly sexualised world can do to make a man kiss the best friend he's always had a crush on.]

Yes, I'm getting the impression this is a place that takes getting used to for some more than others. What with all the [What was it Remus said?] raw human sexuality.

Ahahahaha, that's exactly how Remus put it. It's a bit different than home, that's for sure. And he's always been a bit shy, about this sort of thing.

Which one are you, then? More or less getting used to?

[Who writes out their own laughter. That's adorable.]

It may surprise you to hear it, but this is hardly the only universe with a particular focus on sex.

[There was a whole dimension where everything revolved around gambling, too, but he's been banned there for a while now.]

{Entry One}

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cw: nazi discussion? how did this happen on his first post

im sorry yall

whups

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