{{post iii}}

[shieldofrohan]

Two seasons have turned since I found myself here - half a year gone by, by my count. That frightens me. Even if the Mistress spoke truly when she said our own worlds stand still, yet this one does not. We grow, we age, we draw further away from home. And to what purpose?

If I speak truly, from the heart, I do not hate this land. It is strange, and vulgar, yet there is a curious peace here, a freedom to speak and to act as one might not in a more mannered land. I think that if I were returned, I should miss it.

But my people await. My King yet ails, my country yet faces the Shadow, the darkness yet lingers. It is wrong, I think, that I should be here and not there. I have no purpose here, no duty worthy of the name. Sooner would I face war and misery than to live and die without need, without honour. I fear to abandon my duties. I fear that part of me wishes it. I fear I could not return at all, changed as I am. Shamed as I am.

Would you return home? If you were offered such a chance, would you take it? Would you even question it?

Comments

[shieldofrohan]

I would sooner be true to my King and my people!

What I wish bears naught on what is. For years I wished to ride with the Éorlingas, to bear spear and shield and not be trapped at the hearth. I have wished for the war to be done, and wished also for it to reach me that I might die as I ought, in fire and blood. I have wished my uncle well, and wished others dead.

Wishing is nothing. Even if I did wish such things, and I do not, I am wiser than to think all wishes should be followed. Not all of us are so short-sighted and self-obsessed as you!

[Yeah, it's working.]

[ignisvulpes]

[Oh, did that do the trick? Cool, maybe he can just be casually irritating now.]

Wow.
Sounds like you need to learn to love yourself. :(

[shieldofrohan]

And how, pray, am I to "love myself" if I abandon all of myself that I hold dear?

I know not how you can love yourself, certainly, for you have naught to recommend you even to yourself.

[ignisvulpes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, petty insults aside, just answer me this -

Here, I'll even put it politely just for you!

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE INTERCOURSE? Y/N

[shieldofrohan]

In honesty, I do. And yet, it has naught to do with what I was speaking of. As you would know, had you the wits of a flea.

[ignisvulpes]

Oh come ON.
All I'm trying to say is that we all have the right to do what we like, rather than what other people tell us to do!

[shieldofrohan]

With rights come responsibilities. But to judge by your behaviour in my company, you would fain waive both.

[DID SHE MENTION YOU'RE A SUBBY SUB SUB? You should never have let her know that got under your skin.]

[ignisvulpes]

[Ahh, the consequences of having an explosive temper.]

Fucking excuse me?

[shieldofrohan]

You understand me well enough, I think. But if you would prefer, I shall clarify:

Thou art a weakling, of soul and of mind, and would more gladly submit than stand. Thy anger betrays thee, thy distaste but proves the truth of my word, and thou art a man in name only. Bluster and bravado cannot hide thy nature.

[ignisvulpes]

You don't know SHIT about me.

[shieldofrohan]

Oh? Then you would rise so easily to any bait?

[ignisvulpes]

Wh

Fuck you, you're not baiting me!

[shieldofrohan]

For something I am not doing, it seems to work very well.

[ignisvulpes]

You don't know what happens to the people who REALLY make me angry.

[shieldofrohan]

Nor do I fear it.

[ignisvulpes]

Oh, it's not like I'm about to go injure an esteemed member of the Royal Guard!

I'm just saying.

[shieldofrohan]

And I am just asking why I should care what a snivelling slave-at-heart has by way of threats.

[ignisvulpes]

I'm not the one who's begged for dick here.

[shieldofrohan]

[When she reads that, she goes white, then crimson with anger. She slams the journal closed, and he isn't going to get a reply. Not in this form, anyway.]

[What he is going to get, just a few minutes later, is an enraged shieldmaiden barging into his room to grab him by the throat.]

How dare you?

[ignisvulpes]

[When he realises Éowyn's response isn't coming promptly, he grins to himself. When she bursts in, on the other hand, there's no denying the pale fear on his face -

But it quickly gives way to borderline hysterical laughter.]

Well, well, well, look who's getting baited now!

[shieldofrohan]

[If there's one thing they have in common, it's not liking to be laughed at. It's impressive that Éowyn can look more angry than she already did, and yet, there it is.]

[Grunting, she hauls him up against the wall, arm across his throat.]

Shall I publicise all that you did in that time? Would you laugh then?

[ignisvulpes]

[Oof. He's grinning, but that's about the best he can do to make himself look relaxed. He doesn't feel terrified or anything, but this is an unpleasant little situation to be in.]

My lips are sealed if yours are.

[shieldofrohan]

Good. [She's still holding him against the wall, but she pulls her arm away from her throat, scowling.] Only remember, if you speak any word of it, that I remember as well as you do what passed that day. And I was not the only one who begged.

[ignisvulpes]

Makes you wonder what sorts of dirty little secrets everyone else is hiding, doesn't it?

[He chuckles quietly. There's something unmistakably nervous about the sound.]

[shieldofrohan]

They are welcome to their privacy. I wish only to keep my own.

And believe me, Kinra, if I must fight for that, I shall. And if it is thee I must fight, I shall win. Remember that.

[She lets go of him abruptly.]